I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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