I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
