After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We named our party play list daddy issues
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
