Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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