Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize
