): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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