i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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