How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
