You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
These tits shall not be calmed
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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