There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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