I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
