Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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