I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
