but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize