Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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