Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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