Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
