Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
