lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
