He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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