do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
