Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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