guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
