6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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