There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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