you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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