Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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