Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
