yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
