man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
