her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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