He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
fuck your aforementioned shoe
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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