I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
