when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And then my night got REAL pukey
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I just sharted jello shots
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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