fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
