Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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