brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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