I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize