Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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