it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She said her name was "party"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
