Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
