I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Randomize
