She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
