i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
