I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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