I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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