How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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