My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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