R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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