I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
