And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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